Meet My Henchmen

Grimace

All I can say about this guy is that he is a monster. He will get the job done, no questions

asked.

Fry Guy

If one thing is for sure, it's that you don't want to get on this guy's bad side. Excellently violent, Fry Guy is lethally capable with daggers.

Mayor McCheese

This one is so drunk all the time, he rarely remembers his own name. Nevertheless, I admire his destructive nature.

And, last but not least:

The trusty Hamburglar

I have yet to meet a better thief than this kid.

The Hamburglar? One of McMurder's minions? Yes, it is true. These people are not just characters used for marketing, but costumed villains, aiding me in my mission to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! (Which is coming along nicely, by the way) But I won't get into that yet.

You see, it's all for publicity. First, I had to gain the trust of the world, pretending to be jolly ol' Ronald. While everyone thinks the Hamburglar is just out there to steal from me, he's actually my right hand man. You people are just too stupid to realize what you are letting happen here. Feeding your children food from a clown that is made out of god knows what and has been made in less than a minute... wow, your parenting skills amaze me.

Well, that's all I have for today... surely I have better things to do than sit in front of a computer.